The music and the scene
My beliefs are sometimes among the most important things those drive me. It seems that they come out of some kind of memory residing program that lives in my mind and each time I have something to make or decide, reminds me about myself. I may have that typical dream of flying in sky of my home planet, I dream about it, but in the gleaming day light, nobody dares to ask somebody about flying in sky without artificial wing mechanism in a serious talk, do I have a belief that I can't fly.
Well this is a quite obvious thing about flying, but what.. when I encounter some obscure ones.
I am in a book store, looking at a large pile of books wondering if I opt to write there titles in my diary, I would be owning a large collection and I can print them and can create a new book titled with my name, alright somebody has got very big indexes of these books with beautiful alphabetic listing but my attempt is a subtle one. I would make these titles in such a way and sequence them that would tell me some new stories from them., seems interesting now.
In fact this is what I am doing right now, I love reading lots of books but this place tempts me to purchase one, not to read one, I would like to go a library and would pick one that intrigues me. The thing which can be done here is either to look for a very interesting one or to observe these titles in a certain pattern. Some authors are well known personalities but I have never imagined them coming with a book, may be some day if I get a recognizable name and you see a heavy book in a book store with my name you should not surprise yourself.
Interesting people are here, it's interesting the way people look on books, sometimes you find certain personalities at certain sections. This middle aged lady which is walking with certain rhythm and covers a smooth arch in air while waving her hand is supposed to be at literature section and she is, I smile and go to the next raw listening to the music in my headphones.
Now my belief is in a sound, it's about a frequency, in a tone, it reminds me about some of the related scenes where I listened to this song. My mind relates this scene where I am listening to a sound and when I hear this sound again somewhere else it comes back, I live that again, I feel the weather and people around me in that scene where the sound was played. But it is normal, if somebody asks me what is the main difference between a commercial movie and a offbeat movie, it's the sound of a crow, which is played in between the silence of two dialogues, it makes us feel like it's different and offbeat or may be creator takes the opportunity to fool us using our this graved belief that we are not aware of. A single strum sound of guitar evokes lots of thoughts in my mind. It tells that I should learn playing guitar and the day when I heard guitar from a guy in college, I was so happy that such guy was in my college,
Both thoughts are promising ones, if I execute them I have a chance to change some set of credence but unfortunately my memory residing program reminds me that I cannot do certain things. I have very strong memories people telling me what I am not good at. Sometimes tasks are done with a sole purpose of not looking bad, not for just doing things. I think this part of my program is very buggy, someone needed to fix it, who .. those who created me, no .. no probably they hadn't thought so deep that they were giving me a program while looking after me. And no surprise, people who meet me think that I have this thing by default.
Belief sets are rooted in very large number of scenes I can imagine of, about people from my small town, some guys from that old government school, a teacher from a primary school, a priest of an old forgotten temple, a driver of a cab in bad condition, a shopkeeper whose sell depends only on some kids who only come out of their school in recess. They have their beliefs, may be it's the routine with which they will never want to mingle, but it's a belief. It's futile to talk with such sense, when we crave for bigger things, people I am talking about are happy in their own world with their beliefs but who doesn't hope for better.
I come out of this book store with these thoughts and purchases a corn from a stall, a sudden thought comes into my mind I ask the seller,"Can I throw this corn into trash". He says,"Whatever you like" In fact he chuckles at me. Then I pick an unsold piece and ask the same, he replies " pay me for this first". I get an answer, he is only interested in selling those corns and is not interested in what I am going to do with them. May be in same way things which have played roles in putting my beliefs have nothing to do with my actions. And may be in the pursuits of targets my beliefs can evolve out of what they are right now. They are in their childhood but their stages when they grow up are slightly different, they grow up only when I am in action and nothing to do with there inheritance and where they come from.
This note also tells me that making things in sequence is pretty hard, talking to priorities and sorting them is much more harder.